For Parents

Parents, it can be helpful to have good, reliable resources on hand to help you offer the best support to your child during his/her time of need.  Please use our list of references to help you access more information related to the situation you and your child may be facing.

Child Sexual Abuse

Definition

Child sexual abuse, also known as molestation and exploitation, happens whenever a child or an adolescent is threatened, forced, or pressured into any form of sexual contact.

Sexual abuse may involve: fondling (inappropriate touch), anal, vaginal or oral penetration involving any object, mouth-to-genital contact, exhibitionism (sexually exposing oneself), voyeurism (habitually seeking sexual gratification through visual means), verbal stimulation (purposely using sexual words to sexually arouse) and/or making children read, look at, or participate in pornography.

Sexual abuse of children by adults or by other children is a widespread problem. The Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention reports that 1 in 3 girls and 1 in 4 boys will be sexually assaulted by the time they are 18 years old. Sexual abuse can happen to any child at any age, in any setting.

Abusers

There is no such thing as a “typical” child abuser. Abusers come from all age, ethnic, social, and economic groups. Research shows that most abusers are male; however, both men and women abuse children. In addition, children are almost always abused by someone they know and trust; a family member, family friend, relative, babysitter, or neighbor.

The abuser usually tries to control the victim. The abuser will use force, tricks, and threats, pressure a child into sexual behavior, or make the child feel responsible for the abuse. It is true that some child sexual abusers were also sexually abused as children, however, most child sexual abusers come from homes in which some form of physical, sexual, or psychological violence was present.

Why Counseling May Be Needed

Many people think that they can manage their own worries and troubles. When a child has been physically or sexually abused, however, the stress of the entire experience (the abuse, the telling, the investigation, and/or the legal process) can be overwhelming. All of this could be talked about with a trained professional counselor. The counselor has skills and knowledge to deal with abuse and can guide the child and family through the healing steps.  

Children who are hurt by abuse may show some of the following traits:

• Trouble sleeping

• Not wanting to eat or eating too much

• Fears of certain people, places, or being left alone

• Sudden fears of going to school / poor school performance

• Wanting to be alone more than usual

• Crying for no obvious reason

• Angry and grouchy for no obvious reason

• Fear of being separated from parents or caregivers

• Sexual behaviors inappropriate for their age

• Regression to a previous developmental stage

If you notice some of these traits in your child, you may want to seek professional help. Shelterhouse has specially trained master’s level therapists who can help your child and you. Call Shelterhouse toll-free at 877-216-6383.

Websites about Sexual Abuse

The following are only some of the many internet resources available.  Additional resources can be checked out through the Midland County Library System, including several books for children and books for parents/caregivers.  Also, counselors at Shelterhouse may have access to materials and resources for victims and their families.

Websites for Parents/Caregivers:

• Child Help USA – www.childhelpusa.org

• Darkness to Light – www.darkness2light.org

• It Happened to Alexa – www.ithappenedtoalexa.org

• Michigan Public Sex Offender Registry – www.mipsor.state.mi.US/

• National Committee to Prevent Child Abuse – www.childabuse.org

• National Criminal Justice Reference Service – www.ncjrs.org

• National Coalition Against Domestic and Sexual Violence – www.ncadv.org

• National Children’s Alliance- www.nca-online.org

• National Sexual Violence Resource Center – www.nsvrc.org

• Promote Truth- www.promotetruth.org

Protect Your Child/Domestic Violence

How does domestic violence affect my children?

Domestic violence affects every member of the family, including the children. Family violence creates a home environment where children live in constant fear.

Children who witness family violence are affected in ways similar to children who are physically abused. They are often unable to establish nurturing bonds with either parent Children are at greater risk for abuse and neglect if they live in a violent home.

Statistics show that over 3 million children witness violence in their home each year. Those who see and hear violence in the home suffer physically and emotionally.

• Keeping my Child Safe - learn how to keep you and your child safe if you have a violent partner or spouse

Support Your Teenager/Teen Dating Violence

• Support Your Teen - learn steps to provide support to your teenager if he/she is involved in an abusive dating relationship

• Dating Violence Resource Center - helpful information to offer support to your teen

• A Parent's Guide to Teen Dating Violence: 10 Questions to Start the Conversation - a helpful handbook that provides parents and guardians of teens with language, conversation starters and facts to help them close the gap and open channels of communication
• Dating Matters - a helpful video resource for parents with teens

"Girl in white sweater" photo courtesy of Amber Parsell, photograher